Sky Ranch. Van, Texas-Session 5 

A place where I feel near to God, close to Him. A place where I experienced His presence in an almost unreal way.

Sky Ranch. Van, Texas-Session 11

A place where I didn't 'feel' God at all. A place where scripture didn't phase me. A place where I was broken...

And I mean broken

If you've read my last couple blog posts, you've gotten a glimpse of some of the trials that I've faced these past couple of weeks this summer.  Although I tried tto an extent to lean on God, and trust Him through these trials, I was using my return to Sky Ranch as my motivation to get through the struggles that I was going through. I had had such an amazing experience session five, that I figured I would just go back to camp, 'feel' Him again, and come back home and have everything be fine.

I heard a joke once.

Wanna make God laugh? Tell Him your plans!

So at Sky Ranch, I'm in the leadership group, Quest. In Quest, we have a ton of privileges. One of them is the location of our cabin, sitting right off of Sky Lake, which got perfect view of the sunsets every night.  

Session five I cried because of the sunset.

Session eleven- nothing.

This was the theme throughout the first half of the week. 

Nothing.

Emptiness.

We would go into Bible studies, and God's VERY WORD would ring hollow in my heart.  There I was, watching my counselors-some of my favorite people in the whole WORLD pour out their heart- anyone could plainly see how passionate they felt about speaking truth to us-so passionate it would drive them to tears..And I felt nothing.  

Guys, here's the deal. We're human. Romans 3:23- 

"For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

Who are WE to deserve the presence of the Lord? Who are we to feel God? It is by HIS GRACE that we are able to spend eternity with Him! Without our Lord, we are broken and lost.  To be able to feel his presence is a gift from Him, something that shouldn't be taken for granted! Who am I, a lost sheep to feel like I deserve to stand in the Holy presence of the creator of the universe and say, "Okay Lord, reveal yourself to me." How stinking selfish is that?? 

God doesn't want us chasing after a feeling. He wants us chasing after Him, because he is MORE than that feeling. For me, it was so easy to love the Lord and to desire to be bold for Him when I could feel him there. But at camp I had to realize that I was using the 'feeling' of his presence as a crutch. It's like he was asking me...

"Will you still follow me, even when you feel like I'm not there?"

Heeeelllo, conviction.

But here's the thing. Christ is ALWAYS there.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, do NOT be terrified, do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Guys, God is always there. HE WONT EVER LEAVE! 

But here's something I learned, and something I have to remind myself of every day.

Those times when I don't feel God-

Man, that's when he's working the most.

Will you choose to be obedient?

Love you all!