The Problem of 'I'

Today has definitely been a long day-in a great way-but I'm beyond exhausted, and I hopped on to the delirious train a good two hours ago. But I feel like now, when I'm so physically tired, is the perfect time to post on here- because it just goes to show that what I'm writing is what the Lord wants me to say, and not my own words (or so I'm praying!)

Throughout this summer, I've learned a  TON! I've learned that it IS possible for a group of girls to go through four packages of double stuffed oreos in less than two days. I've learned that I'm a lot more introverted than I thought..And I've also learned how stinking controlling I am.
This verse legitimately just came to mind. Like right now.
"Be Still and Know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
Psalm 46:10
Okay, Jesus. I'll build off of that!

So, I'm the type of person that is really goal-oriented.  I have a goal, I want to meet that goal, and I'll do anything to make it happen.  Maybe this isn't a bad thing in all areas...But it definitely is when it came to my walk with the Lord.

This summer, Christ has really given me a desire to just go back to high school and be bold- to take up my cross and deny myself daily (Luke 9). The thing is, until just recently this is what my thought process was like:

When I  go back to school, I need to do everything right. I need to not lose sight of God, and I need to focus only on Him. I need to be bold, and I need to share the gospel with people every day. I need to be looking for opportunities, and I need to be ready for whatever struggles I face.

Okay, read that again. How many times was the pronoun I used?
Too.Stinking.Many!

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting the things that I listed up there. But something that I need to realize is that I can't do any of that on my own! I can't live for Him if I'm trying to do it all by myself! Just reading up above all the stuff that I feel like I need to do overwhelms me-sometimes to the point in which I am tempted to run from Him! And Jesus doesn't want that! In fact, he tells us to come to Him when we are tired-because he offers rest!

Something I've been struggling with lately is trusting that Christ IS going to work in my life. And if he does work in my life-what if I don't step up to the plate?
Again with the I's! GUYS! This walk-this MARATHON, is not about what I do! I am a sheep that is lost and broken! I mess up on a VERY current basis. Every time I sin, it's like I'm driving the nail deeper into Jesus Christ's wrists! And yet the Father of the universe still wants to use me! He doesn't have to use me-hello? He's GOD! And as a servant to Christ, I am called to submit everything to Him-including trusting in the fact that God is going to use me! It's time that-through the Grace of my Father, I let go of my control, and to be still and know that God has plans for my life.  His timing is divine, and mine just isn't-cuz hello, I'm definitely not God!  The Lord will use me- and He will give me the strength to step up to the plate! Does this mean that I should just sit back and kick my feet up-get comfortable? No, absolutely not- we as Christians aren't called to live a comfortable life AT ALL.  But I have to stop relying on my own understanding, and know that, yes, I will mess up. But the cool thing is, HE will pick me up, so I can continue living for Him!

Isn't the Lord so cool?