So something I haven't mentioned to the fullest extent on here is a really huge decision I had to come to during late July all the way till just before school.
That decision was on whether or not I should quit choir, the source of my idolatry my freshman year. This decision was a huge source of my anxiety for a LONG time, and I finally came to the decision while at camp session 11 to stay in choir-but only for my sole purpose to glorify the Lord. Even though I prayed, talked to numerous counselors, and knew that my decision to stay in choir was not a wrong decision, I had a really hard time trusting that the Lord would use me in choir, and I had a hard time trusting that I was making the right decision. When I started doubting that decision, that's when I started feeling more and more anxious and bogged down.
This week at school I've been especially overwhelmed with everything going on. I had laryngitis and couldn't sing, and I had to keep myself from getting upset over that...How could I give glory to God in choir when I couldn't even sing?? I started doubting my decision this week AGAIN..But really, what could I have done about it??
So I'm on prescription medicine, and I started feeling a lot better. This morning when I woke up I was feeling like my voice was fully back, which was great!
So I get to choir today, and we took out a piece that's based on a Psalm text-It's called shout for joy. Even though I hadn't been able to sing the past few days, we had practiced this song a few days before I was full voice, and I just LOVE it! I love the text, I love what the song means, and I love how we sound as a group and the harmonies..all that! But today I was singing, and I just thought in my head, "Okay God. This is for YOUR glory!"
SO I started singing, and I just completely felt his presence-something I haven't felt in awhile! And as I was singing a thought came into my head."
It is good that you're here.
Guys, call me weird. But that thought was not my own! It was the Lord's! I didn't realize that it was his voice speaking to me until later on in the day, but once I knew, I knew.
I don't think I'm gonna be anxious about staying in choir anymore!!!
Today I got more satisfaction out of choir that I have EVER in my year and four days of high school! There is NOTHING greater than being surrounded by God's will, and just giving Him the glory in a situation when you're using your talents for HIM!! It's so stinking fulfilling!!!
Love ya'll!
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