Weird-On Whose standards?

So I'm sitting in geometry, not paying attention to geometry (what's new?), when I ask myself...
"What's so weird about talking about Jesus?"

No, really. think about it! Why is it that we, as humans, seem to look at the subject of religion as..as like taboo? Something that shouldn't be mentioned.  And, really, I'm not meaning for this to be rhetorical, I legitimately don't know the answer. Just asking that question,, though, leads me to another question:

Why is so hard to talk about Jesus, but so easy to talk about who won the last football game? What the math homework is? Why is it so easy to gossip.  If you are a follower of Christ, then you know that Christ is truth, His word is truth. So why is it so hard to talk about the truth? I'm not asking just ya'll, I'm asking myself too! it's like I sit at school and am to tempted to gossip, but my nature tells me to run away, to shy away from telling others about God, and what he has done in my life!

I guess it's because of just that. We are human, and it's going against our sinful nature by speaking of the Lord...does that SUCKKK? Yeees. But the cool thing is that Christ chooses to use us, even though we are made weak through our sin. (Check out 2Corinthians 12:9!!!) Guys, next time your friends start to talk abourt the Lord, DONT SHY AWAY! Look at it as an opportunity to take up your cross, deny yourself and follow Him. Do it, cuz it's stinking legit ya'll!(: Love you all, so very very much! Praying for you everyday!

Tired and Weary.

I'm at the point now where I just want to stop fighting. I know in my heart that my deepest desire is to live for the Lord, and die to myself completely, and I realize how I'm going against my nature-my human nature to live for myself. I want to live for the Lord-It is my greatest desire. But I've noticed that I try and take things into my own hands. I'm at a point now where I LONG to be persecuted for my faith, and I LONG to be lost in my love for Christ! But I have a hard time trusting that YES the Lord knows that I want this, and YES he will give it to me! So I go looking for oppurtunities by myself. And I get SO weary, and I start to feel obligated to do things for Him-even though, hello? I can never live to Jesus's standards, to the standard of perfection.
I'm so afraid of falling back into my old way of life, where yeah, I read my Bible, but God was just a piece of my life, not all of it. It is SUCH an easy trap to live in. I don't WANT to live life comfortably anymore, but I don't want to live life feelingn guilty and obligated. I can't tell you how many times today I felt so tempted to just give up and to give in to my old life, because I felt like that life offered more peace. YALL THAT IS SO NOT TRUE!!!! Even though that temptation scared me half to death, I'm taking joy in the fact that this race that I'm running is a test of endurance, and the fact that I'm tempted to return to my old way of life means that God is about to do something AWESOME, and Satan is scared.

I know that I"m not perfect, and I'm far, FAR from it, but I think about everything Christ went through for me, for all of us. And when he was on that cross, suffering, he was suffering for me, for all of us. I am so tired of feeling obligated to do things for Christ. That's not how it should be. I want to be at the place where I am so IN LOVE with the Lord, that it is like second nature to die to myself daily.

"Let me rediscover you.
And by your grace I'll follow through.
Tell me of the God I never knew.
Jesus let me rediscover you."

Prayers would be REALLY appreciated, ya'll!

Not By Accident.

Genisis 1:1
"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."

Okay, cool. A lot of us know that verse, as it's the first verse in the Bible! I know that since I went to a private school, it was one of the first verses I ever had to memorize, and I never really gave it that much thought. God created the heavens and the earth. Cool beans.
Read it again.

Genisis 1:1
"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth."

Think about the world for a second. Think about how EXTREMELY complex it is. Now think about the universe. Think about our galaxy, and about stars. Did this really happen by accident?
Not.Likely.
So I'm reading this book right now called Crazy Love, by Francis Chan, so a lot of what I'm about to write comes from this book, just to let you know.

Caterpillars have 228 separate muscles in their head.
The average elm tree has 6 million leaves on it (that's a lot of leaves, I think).
Our own hearts generate engough pressure pumping blood that it could squirt up to 30 feet. (DISGUSTING).
Think about how diverse the earth is, and how much variety it has. There are MILLIONS of different animal species alone on this earth. Plants literally DEFY GRAVITY by bringing water upwards from the ground into their veins. How could this have happened on accident?
And think about this. When rivers flood into valleys, fields, whatever, the FISH POOP legitimately acts as a fertilizer and provides vegetation and crops.
There are so many other scientific things that I could poing out-like how complex the human eye is, and how the earth is positioned at just the right angle from the sun (or something like that). But here's the point. Stuff like this could NOT have just happened-there's something, someone greater at work.  And that's Jesus. rejoice ya'll, cuz the God of the universe-who created all this INSANE stuff wants something, everything to do with you. Even when we chase after CRAAAP-be it lying, cheating, sex, drugs, idolatry, anything- He is still chasing after us. he never grows tired, which is why he tells us to find ultimate rest in Him! He is not something that ties us down, he sets us free-free from our insecurities, free from our sin. There is nothing greater than drinking the living, soul quenching water of Christ Jesus! He loves you enough to die for you! Run towards Him-and He will allow you to hunger for more every day.
Love you(:

Rock and Sand

Dependency. 

I think I've come to the conclusion that as humans, it's our nature to depend on SOMETHING-whether it's a person, place, thing..whatever. Sure, there's people out there that are more INdependent than others, but I don't know anyone out there that deep down wants to go out and live their life by themselves without putting their trust in something...But I think the trick is putting that trust on something that sticks.

I'm sure a lot of us have heard about the wise man who built his house upon a rock, and the foolish man who built his house on the sand.  "The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house: yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock." (Matthew 7:25) 

So this past week at school I started to REALLY miss camp. It's hard to walk around in a place crowded with people where you're in an environment where not everyone necessarily loves the Lord... The great thing about camp is that everyone is running towards one common goal: Jesus. And because of that, there aren't hardly any distractions, which is GREAT. And in my cabin, I was blessed to have four amazing counselors that really, really pushed me in my walk with the Lord, which was so cool.  Towards the end of this week the Lord started to reveal to me that I was starting to make sky ranch-and my experience and the people that I was surrounded with at camp my idol. That actually really freaked me out. I'm super sensitive towards having an idolatrous mindset, because I struggled with that A TON last year with choir, and I'm super scared to fall deep in that sin. So for everyone reading this, prayers would be GREAT!

Something I'm realizing is that everything-literally, everything, is sinking sand-besides the Lord. And when that storm comes, if I'm not clinging to the Lord for dear life, I'm gonna fall into the waters. Does that mean forget about everything that I learned at camp, or cut myself off from the people that I met completely? No, absolutely not! But I believe that every good thing comes from the Lord, and he gives it to us to bring Him glory. By taking my longing to be back at camp, and my longing to be with my friends and counselors and remembering what I learned there, and thanking him for the experience I had there- that right there is giving him glory, and that I think will help me depend on Him! Ya'll, I can't shake this feeling that the Lord has something big planned for my life sophomore year. Not at all because of anything that i"ve done, but because of HIM! And I have a feeling that whatever this is is gonna be a struggle, and if that's right then I feel like the Lord is training me to keep my eyes on Him, so I know who to run to when it gets hard or trying. 

I think lately I've started to grow weary of wrestling with questions about my faith, and the purpose in my life to live for Him. I just have so many questions. But WHOA the Lord just revealed something to me! When I seek God, he will offer an answer-maybe not right away, but I will go away learning something. The more questions I wrestle with, the more I learn. Maybe that's what the Lord is doing,a nd maybe that's why i sit here wondering why I seem to struggle so much with not understanding the Lord...Because he's PREPARING me! I guess the trick is to be patient, wait and watch to see how he'll work. I know it's gonna be great.

Love you all!

I can't just sit here and deny what the Lord has done in my life-in the past summer, in the past month, in the past week. I wouldn't even know where to begin, but I'll try.

Can I just stop for a minute and brag on the Lord?? I think I will, thanks(:

GUYS DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I MESSED UP THIS WEEK?

Do you know how many times I judged someone?

How many times I looked at that person in the hall and thought something negative about someone?

How many times I pushed Christ out of the way, just so  I could feel comfortable?

Okay, yeah, you get it.

But guys, HE STILL LOVES ME! Guys, nothing can separate us from God's love-especially not our own sin. Hello? Isn't that why Jesus died in the first place? Somehow, even though I turn my back on Him every time I sin, he still looks at me and loves me? Is he shaking his head? Yes, because I"m being an IDIOT! But he still LOVES ME! I can't even really explain why this is making me so excited right now, to the point of tears. I'm not sure what to write because there aren't words to describe how in awe I am of how much he loves EVERYONE unconditionally! "The King is enthralled with your beauty. honor Him, for He is your Lord." Psalm 45:11.

WHY is the creator of the universe looking at me and calling me beautiful when all I seem to do is drive that nail deeper into his wrist? I mean, duh, it's because He's GOD. And that is so stinking legit. But flip it guys. God is perfect. Yeah, we all know that for SURE!!! And yet I went through this week at school, and so often I would think about the Lord, see something else and run after it instead of Him-because it was "more real".

Stop.

Stop.

STOP.

Maybe I"m being sassy cuz it's late, and because I'm tired. I don't think I'm usually like this. But it's all good. But seriously! GUYS. WHAT IS MORE REAL THAN A GOD WHO HAS DIED FOR US? WHat is more real than our Lord, who walked as a man on the earth (and come on, we all know that earth SUCCCKS), and then endured a more painful death than we could ever IMAGINE? And he did it for us, the broken, lost and stupid sheep. It almost leaves me speechless to think that when he died he did it for me, a sinner. 

I feel like tonight is one of those nights where I'm just blessed to feel the Lord's presence...  He is so cool, and I encourage everyone (and myself too!!!) to get to know Him more. Ugh, He loves us so much!!!!

~Hannah

It is good.

Hey everyone! I just wanted to share a story with you all!!! 

So something I haven't mentioned to the fullest extent on here is a really huge decision I had to come to during late July all the way till just before school. 

That decision was on whether or not I should quit choir, the source of my idolatry my freshman year. This decision was a huge source of my anxiety for a LONG time, and I finally came to the decision while at camp session 11 to stay in choir-but only for my sole purpose to glorify the Lord. Even though I prayed, talked to numerous counselors, and knew that my decision to stay in choir was not a wrong decision, I had a really hard time trusting that the Lord would use me in choir, and I had a hard time trusting that I was making the right decision. When I started doubting that decision, that's when I started feeling more and more anxious and bogged down.

This week at school I've been especially overwhelmed with everything going on. I had laryngitis and couldn't sing, and I had to keep myself from getting upset over that...How could I give glory to God in choir when I couldn't even sing?? I started doubting my decision this week AGAIN..But really, what could I have done about it??

So I'm on prescription medicine, and I started feeling a lot better. This morning when I woke up I was feeling like my voice was fully back, which was great! 

So I get to choir today, and we took out a piece that's based on a Psalm text-It's called shout for joy. Even though I hadn't been able to sing the past few days, we had practiced this song a few days before I was full voice, and I just LOVE it! I love the text, I love what the song means, and I love how we sound as a group and the harmonies..all that! But today I was singing, and I just thought in my head, "Okay God. This is for YOUR glory!" 

SO I started singing, and I just completely felt his presence-something I haven't felt in awhile! And as I was singing a thought came into my head."

It is good that you're here.

Guys, call me weird. But that thought was not my own! It was the Lord's! I didn't realize that it was his voice speaking to me until later on in the day, but once I knew, I knew.

I don't think I'm gonna be anxious about staying in choir anymore!!!

Today I got more satisfaction out of choir that I have EVER in my year and four days of high school! There is NOTHING greater than being surrounded by God's will, and just giving Him the glory in a situation when you're using your talents for HIM!! It's so stinking fulfilling!!! 

Love ya'll!

Enamored

So, since I'm sure everyone here can read...the title of this post is enamored. And that's exactly what I long for, what I desire.

To be enamored with Christ: to be so in awe of Him that I can't even speak. I know over the summer I've gotten to points where I feel the Lord's presence so strong that I have been brought speechless because of his greatness. Check this out, ya'll.

"I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called faithful and true. WIth justice he judges and makes war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself." Revelation 19:11-12

Okay, while all that basically makes me want to pee my pants, what I think is insanely cool is this bit at the end:

"He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself."

That just goes to show there that there is NO WORD that can fully describe Jesus Christ. Yes, he is the creator. He is awesome, Yahweh, Abba, all of those things! But he is GREATER-so great that we can't even fathom it..Which is why he is the only one that knows the name written on his robe..if that makes sense!

Do I need to say anything else, really? God is stinking legit. End of story!

Then why is it so hard for me to love Him? 

Something I've noticed that I'm having a huge problem with is focusing on my mistakes, instead of my love for Christ. I can't tell you how many times this week, in these past three days that I"ve been near tears because I feel like I'm not living well enough for the Lord. My eyes have been opened to the things that I need to work on in my walk with the Lord-loving people more, judging less, etc...But my problem? I dwell on it. I dwell on my mistakes, and I let my gaze shift from my love for the Lord- from me being ENAMORED, to my mistakes.

Life verse? Hebrews 12:2

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, author and perfecter of our faith....." Yeah and it continues, but you get the gist.

God is forgiving. The cross? hello! duh, Hannah! If I'm focusing on my mistakes, focusing on what I have to do and what I'm doing wrong...That's not focusing on God, because news flash! I'm NOT perfect, and I'm for sure NOT God! I still haven't been able to figure out why it's so hard for me to let go of my imperfections and just focus on the awe-inspiring love of Christ. The Bible says so many times not to worry! 

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind."

I feel like if I were to just look to the Lord, and just allow myself to be enamored...So many doors would be opened! I think it's time to stop focusing on my mistakes. The key is to repent, and allow God to do away with it! He tells us to cast our cares on Him, because he will sustain us! (Psalm 55:22)

Well, that's about it for this one here... Keep reading!(: God bless!

Let's do this.

I know the Cost-He is better.

In our community, the cost is discomfort. The cost is 'offending' someone, or possibly losing a friend or two-facing persecution...

Acts 4-the disciples faced persecution to the point of death. They knew the cost. And they knew the creator of the universe was better.


I know the cost-He is better.

Made To Worship

As humans-specifically speaking about the body of Christ, we are all created differently. Well, duh. We have different spiritual gifts-different talents, and different interests and personalities. But there's one thing we all have in common.
We are made to worship..
Take a look at Psalms. It's the longest book of the Bible- and so much of it is devoted to singing praises to the Lord.  That is what we are called to do, because that's how we are made.
"So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them." ~Genesis 1:27

The whole reason for our creation was so that we could glorify the Lord. But since we are human, and since we've fallen, it's impossible for us to hold our heart focused on Christ in worship every single moment of every day.  There are countless distractions that withhold us from being in constant worship with our Father. That won't change as long as we're on earth, because it's earth-and earth sucks! But the cool thing is that we don't have to live on earth forever! When it's time to go home-like our REAL home- we get to worship the Lord all the time, and it will be SO GOOD! (okay..I kind of felt like I was just preaching at a funeral there...)

But here's the thing guys! I love singing, and I love music. Just recently I figured out that there's a way to thread choir, and music in general, into a way of worshiping the Lord! I know that personally, I just tend to feel so joyful whenever I'm listening to worship music-whether I 'feel' God or not. And I think that's because I'm doing what Abba, Father has created me to do! And in choir this year, if we sing spirituals-any scripture based song, that makes me even more excited-it means I'll be singing-but singing for HIM! After all, every good and perfect thing-whether it be a gift he gives us, or a talent or whatever, is given to us so we can glorify Him! Do I have a bad habit of taking those gifts and using them for myself instead of submitting them to Him? Absolutely. That kind of applies to Luke 9-to taking up my cross and following Him, if you think about it!  Taking up my cross doesn't necessarily mean to drop everything that has given me happiness. It means to take those things-like choir,  and use it to glorify Him! Does that mean that God is going to give me everything I selfishly desire-like success in choir, according to my standards? Absolutely NOT! God is God, and God is good, and he will do whatever He needs to do in order for me to grow in Him-whether that means I go through struggles or not!  That's the only reason why we are here, and when you think about it..To worship the Lord! it's so stinking cool, cuz it reminds me how dependent I am on Him for everything I do-right down to my last breath!

So guys, I challenge you to recognize your gifts, your talents-whatever they are, and thank God for them! But don't stop there! Use your gifts as a form of worship, because in the end that's all that matters!!!

The Problem of 'I'

Today has definitely been a long day-in a great way-but I'm beyond exhausted, and I hopped on to the delirious train a good two hours ago. But I feel like now, when I'm so physically tired, is the perfect time to post on here- because it just goes to show that what I'm writing is what the Lord wants me to say, and not my own words (or so I'm praying!)

Throughout this summer, I've learned a  TON! I've learned that it IS possible for a group of girls to go through four packages of double stuffed oreos in less than two days. I've learned that I'm a lot more introverted than I thought..And I've also learned how stinking controlling I am.
This verse legitimately just came to mind. Like right now.
"Be Still and Know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
Psalm 46:10
Okay, Jesus. I'll build off of that!

So, I'm the type of person that is really goal-oriented.  I have a goal, I want to meet that goal, and I'll do anything to make it happen.  Maybe this isn't a bad thing in all areas...But it definitely is when it came to my walk with the Lord.

This summer, Christ has really given me a desire to just go back to high school and be bold- to take up my cross and deny myself daily (Luke 9). The thing is, until just recently this is what my thought process was like:

When I  go back to school, I need to do everything right. I need to not lose sight of God, and I need to focus only on Him. I need to be bold, and I need to share the gospel with people every day. I need to be looking for opportunities, and I need to be ready for whatever struggles I face.

Okay, read that again. How many times was the pronoun I used?
Too.Stinking.Many!

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting the things that I listed up there. But something that I need to realize is that I can't do any of that on my own! I can't live for Him if I'm trying to do it all by myself! Just reading up above all the stuff that I feel like I need to do overwhelms me-sometimes to the point in which I am tempted to run from Him! And Jesus doesn't want that! In fact, he tells us to come to Him when we are tired-because he offers rest!

Something I've been struggling with lately is trusting that Christ IS going to work in my life. And if he does work in my life-what if I don't step up to the plate?
Again with the I's! GUYS! This walk-this MARATHON, is not about what I do! I am a sheep that is lost and broken! I mess up on a VERY current basis. Every time I sin, it's like I'm driving the nail deeper into Jesus Christ's wrists! And yet the Father of the universe still wants to use me! He doesn't have to use me-hello? He's GOD! And as a servant to Christ, I am called to submit everything to Him-including trusting in the fact that God is going to use me! It's time that-through the Grace of my Father, I let go of my control, and to be still and know that God has plans for my life.  His timing is divine, and mine just isn't-cuz hello, I'm definitely not God!  The Lord will use me- and He will give me the strength to step up to the plate! Does this mean that I should just sit back and kick my feet up-get comfortable? No, absolutely not- we as Christians aren't called to live a comfortable life AT ALL.  But I have to stop relying on my own understanding, and know that, yes, I will mess up. But the cool thing is, HE will pick me up, so I can continue living for Him!

Isn't the Lord so cool?

Sky Ranch. Van, Texas-Session 5 

A place where I feel near to God, close to Him. A place where I experienced His presence in an almost unreal way.

Sky Ranch. Van, Texas-Session 11

A place where I didn't 'feel' God at all. A place where scripture didn't phase me. A place where I was broken...

And I mean broken

If you've read my last couple blog posts, you've gotten a glimpse of some of the trials that I've faced these past couple of weeks this summer.  Although I tried tto an extent to lean on God, and trust Him through these trials, I was using my return to Sky Ranch as my motivation to get through the struggles that I was going through. I had had such an amazing experience session five, that I figured I would just go back to camp, 'feel' Him again, and come back home and have everything be fine.

I heard a joke once.

Wanna make God laugh? Tell Him your plans!

So at Sky Ranch, I'm in the leadership group, Quest. In Quest, we have a ton of privileges. One of them is the location of our cabin, sitting right off of Sky Lake, which got perfect view of the sunsets every night.  

Session five I cried because of the sunset.

Session eleven- nothing.

This was the theme throughout the first half of the week. 

Nothing.

Emptiness.

We would go into Bible studies, and God's VERY WORD would ring hollow in my heart.  There I was, watching my counselors-some of my favorite people in the whole WORLD pour out their heart- anyone could plainly see how passionate they felt about speaking truth to us-so passionate it would drive them to tears..And I felt nothing.  

Guys, here's the deal. We're human. Romans 3:23- 

"For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

Who are WE to deserve the presence of the Lord? Who are we to feel God? It is by HIS GRACE that we are able to spend eternity with Him! Without our Lord, we are broken and lost.  To be able to feel his presence is a gift from Him, something that shouldn't be taken for granted! Who am I, a lost sheep to feel like I deserve to stand in the Holy presence of the creator of the universe and say, "Okay Lord, reveal yourself to me." How stinking selfish is that?? 

God doesn't want us chasing after a feeling. He wants us chasing after Him, because he is MORE than that feeling. For me, it was so easy to love the Lord and to desire to be bold for Him when I could feel him there. But at camp I had to realize that I was using the 'feeling' of his presence as a crutch. It's like he was asking me...

"Will you still follow me, even when you feel like I'm not there?"

Heeeelllo, conviction.

But here's the thing. Christ is ALWAYS there.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, do NOT be terrified, do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Guys, God is always there. HE WONT EVER LEAVE! 

But here's something I learned, and something I have to remind myself of every day.

Those times when I don't feel God-

Man, that's when he's working the most.

Will you choose to be obedient?

Love you all!

Who am I?

What if I looked in the mirror and all I saw were my mistakes?
The gossip
My idolatry through choir
The way I tend to disrespect my family
My lack of a desire to serve people
My extensive lists of mistakes that just continues. On.And On.
Doesn't that suck?
But guess what? I am a new creation in Christ. By trusting and loving him, I can know and rest in the fact that, heck to the yes, I make mistakes, and I will never be perfect...But the point isn't..How many good works can I do to bring myself gratification. The idea is this.
Jesus went off and died for me, so that I could have a personal relationship with Him. But guess what? Every single good thing in my life, every single moment in which I draw near to his presence- that is NOT because of anything I have done. It's because of God's grace.
"It is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9
Where does this leave me? I found myself coming home from camp asking myself that question...How am I supposed to please God, but at the same time remembering that it's not about what I do, it's about what he's done for me?
Tell people. Don't stop telling people what Christ has done in your life. Guys, if there's ONE THING I'm passionate about in my walk with Christ (besides the fact that he died for me), its this: Who in the world are we to keep this gift of salvation to ourself? God says that we are the light of the world, a city on a hill shall not be hidden.(matthew 5:14)  I means seriously. This gift God has given us- that allows us to have hope in the fact that we get to spend eternity with him- guys, it's called a gift for a reason. We did nothing to earn this salvation, and yet we keep it hidden as if it's a secret club! I'm guilty of this to the highest extent. I mean, look at the apostles. PETER was crucified upside-down, for Christ. Stephen was stoned for Christ. Almost all the other disciples died a martyrs death for Christ.  Christ calls us to live a life that is not of the world. There's no meeting in the middle! We were created in the image of God (UM HELLO? AWESOME!), and even though we are broken, sinful people we are called to be the aroma of Christ. Think about all the people that Jesus witnessed to in his short 33 years. Um..Wow. A LOT. This is gonna sound super bold...And I'm speaking for myself, also. But it's time for us to wake up, and to go out and live for the Lord. And guys, I'm not saying we all have to pack up and move to Africa. If anything, be bold thru your actions to start with. Don't drink at that party. Sit with that kid at the lunch table that doesn't seem to have any friends. Smile at someone in the hallway.I think the coolest thing in the world would be for someone who doesn't know the Lord  to look at a believer who truly lives out their faith through their actions and wonder..What do they have that I don't?   Maybe you feel like God has called you to be outwardly bold- to start a conversation with someone you've never met about the Lord-to walk up to that person in the hallway and ask if they need prayer. Both speak loudly in their own ways. But ask yourself- What will challenge my faith more?
I guess the last thing I know to say is this: Jesus Christ is chasing after every single one of you. He wants to know you, and he wants to be the only constant in your life. When you first get a taste of that love, of the joy that he offers in his presence...don't be afraid of telling other people about Him (I struggle with that daily). Instead find joy in the fact that there's someone out there that could find ultimate salvation through the way that Christ has chosen to use you. Will you let yourself be used?
Try reading Acts 4 if you wanna read more about being bold. It's great! Love you all!
Hannah B.

Running The Race

I myself am NOT much of a long distance runner. I've never minded short distance running (for obvious reasons!), but I was the one that would dread that weekly mile we would have to run in middle school.  When going to school every morning, I always admire those in cross country- the ones who are willing to get up early and run a few miles before the school day has really even started. 
What I had to realize was that all those runners, no matter how fast they are, or how much stamina they have- it's the endurance they have had to build up throughout their season that gets them through each practice. And not only that, but they have motivation to get them to where they need to be.
So, backing it up a little bit. I went to camp this summer, and had one of those 'camp experiences'. You know, the one where you leave the camp and just are on that high, where you're willing to do anything for the Lord..Or so we think. There's nothing wrong with an experience like that, but the trick is following the Lord always, even when that high has died.
So  I get home, and I found myself falling in love with Christ, even moreso then when I was at camp. I found myself deeply seeking a relationship with Him, and reading my Bible faithfully, and just enjoying the Lord. Pause.
James 1:2-3
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds. For you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
Play.
Before I left for camp, I felt like God was telling me, gearing me up, trying to get me ready for trials that I would face. I expected to face those trials right when I got home, and when I didn't face them..I didn't let it bother me. Well, look back up at that verse in James.  He said, "Consider it pure joy WHEN you face trials of many kinds". Not if, but when. And trust me, the when came.
I found myself hit with doubts, anxieties, and just a sinful longing to distance myself from Christ's love. I struggled (briefly) with suicidal thoughts. I got to the point that I was so anxious that I would wake up in the morning and throw up...I KNEW that Satan was doing whatever he could to distance me from Christ, and since I knew that, I blamed all my struggles on Satan. I tried to give everything to God, but the anxiety kept coming back.. I ended up texting another counselor from camp, and I told her my struggles, and, again, blamed it all on Satan-saying I had done all I could do, and nothing was working. She told me that God might be trying to tell me something. heck yes he was.
I realized, thanks to the Lord, that I was merely ENDURING the struggles he put before me...He commands us to be joyful throughout our struggles. We should be rejoicing, because even though what we are going through SUCCCKKKS, it doesn't matter, because our struggles are making us stronger in our faith! Does that mean that once I realized that I got better immediately? No, no, no, no! I had to remember that Christ has perfect timing, and he will end the trial when he knows my heart has been put in the right place.
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed. Perplexed, but not in despair. Persecuted, but not abandoned. Struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our hearts the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus might be revealed in our body." 2 Corinthians 4:7-10
God is going to shape and mold us in any way that he chooses, because we belong to Him.  Because we live in this broken world, we are going to face struggles. But by trusting in the Lord, we can build up the endurance to run the race for none other than our savior that died for us.
Love you all SO much!
Hannah.