Obsessed.

I used to think that the phrase, "You're so obsessed with ____" was super offensive. I remember being in the car with my mom last fall/spring of freshman year, and be talking about, idk, choir auditions, results, whatever, and my mom saying that I was obsessed, obsessed with choir.
And I mean I've heard it applied to other things and circumstances..I just don't think that the word obsession has ever been appealing to me. It sort of implies desperation, complete dependence.
Well, hold on.
Isn't that what I should LONG for in my walk with the Lord?
Okay..I can't take complete credit from this blog post, I read a lot of this and got the idea for the post from 'Crazy Love', the book I just finished. But this is how I think of it...
Think about it. When you're obsessed with something, it's ALL you can talk about, and it's all you can think about. Imagine if we were obsessed with the Lord...If I were to have a friend comment at lunch, "Gosh Hannah, you're so obsessed with Jesus." I'd probably go have a party.
I'm at the point where I just want to surrender EVERYTHING. I know that there's a huge part of my life that is devoted to Christ, but I don't want that. I want ALL of my life to be devoted to him. I know that it's so easy to get caught up in the world, and I will fall down and make mistakes, but I'm so ready to think of Jesus as a best friend instead of an acquaintance.
Think of Him as a lover, not as an obligation.
But think about it. What if we were to be passionately in love with the creator of the universe?! If we were to be able to turn to him like we would turn to a best friend? Because the cool thing is that, yes, friends are awesome, and yes, that boyfriend/girlfriend is GREAT (I think it's important that if you love Jesus, they love Jesus, and you guys are pushing each other towards Christ, but that's a different story!) But the thing about a relationship with a person, a human, is that their love is going to fail us at some point, or cease to satisfy. But imagine knowing and loving a God that won't EVER fail you-why? because he's GOD!!!
Does this take time? Heck.yes. My heart is so fickle, and it chases after other things so easily. There are so many times in the day where I know in my head I should be reading my Bible, but I don't want to..I have something 'better' to do. And then once I remind myself that there is NOTHING better than the creator, I beat myself up for not loving God with all my heart and my soul and my mind, like His word tells us to do.
Here's the thing.
This love is NOT going to happen overnight. To love someone, you have to get to know them-to spend time with them on a consistent basis! And to love someone, to be obsessed with God, I believe we have to be willing to submit our whole lives and our will to the Lord-knowing that what he chooses for our lives might not be our first choice-it might be our LAST choice, the last thing we want to do. But the cool thing about a relationship with the creator is the fact that we don't have to come to Him perfect-he wants us as we are. NONE of this happens overnight. Oh, awkward, I already said that. MAYBE BECAUSE ITS IMPORTANT! I can't tell ya'll how shocked I was to go to school the first day and realize, oh crap. This loving God-being a light-loving other people-taking up my cross thing is a lot harder than I thought. Ya'll, it's not about we do, for starters. While it's important to obey God, we have to remember that nothing we can do will ever make Him love us less or more-another reason he would be the perfect lover. But I want to encourage you guys to SUBMIT your lives to Him, and allow him to transform you bit.
by bit.
by bit.
You won't be disappointed.
(: