With Confidence

You know what I've let my life be consumed with these past couple weeks? ha. Scratch that. Since I got home from camp? WORRY.
Needless.
Stupid.
Ridiculous worry.
I don't even know where it began.. I guess here's a good place to start. I get home from camp, and I had gone thru a lot-I learned a ton, but I had struggled hardcore and made some stupid decisions. I told myself, though, that i was done worrying about choir, that i was done worrying about things EXTERNAL. And that's what I told people. When they heard I had an audition coming up, they'd be like, "hannah, I bet you're freaking out/so stressed" and I would get frustrated and be like..no, I'm not! I've chagned!
Yeah, on the outside maybe.  But really I was lying to myself.
BUt i was still worrying about things internally. I would see my sins, all the things I was doing wrong-and the things that maybe I wasn't doing well ENOUGH. And I would sit in worry, and it sucked. It really sucked. I can honestly say I have NOT been joyful for the Lord these past couple of months. Because I've been so focused on fixing myself.
haha, wrong-check out the scriptures.
"Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of our faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water."
Hebrews 10:19-22
Guys, no stinking place in God's BOOK OF TRUTH does it say that we can only be in the presence of the Lord by our OWN works! The whole point of Christianity, the whole reason it is so different from any other religion out there is that it's by GRACE we're saved! And when Christ died, that veil that was torn, that is so IMPORTANT! We have a God that wants us JUST as we are! I don't know aboutyou, but as cool as that sounds, I still struggle with wanting to be like.. "Okay God...yeah that's great of you, but I still feel like I need to be fixed before I can come t